The Infamous Church Date

The infamous church date is one of my favorites.  I have to add 'the infamous' in front of it because it makes it that much funnier.  Whether you are a believer or not, there are many different benefits of the church date.

Reason 1: No Entry Fee
You will never have to pay a set amount to go sit in a church.

Reason 2: Running Late
If you are running late to church, you have an excuse to bypass almost every aspect of life including the ATM machine.  That's right fellas.  If you are running late too church, ride right by the ATM machine and head straight there to participate in the praises.  Running late is the only excuse you have to give small offerings to the church.  You do not ever want to be looked at as a cheap person by your lady friend. Giving the last $2 in your pocket to the church, in this circumstance, will seem far more charitable than cheap.


Reason 3: Minimal Conversation
Minimal conversation can be interpreted many different ways.  Sitting in church for 1 to 4 hours is all listening and no talking.  Having a side conversation in church is just RUDE.  You are supposed to be in church to listen to the word, not to share your own. If you do not have a strong conversation game, church is a great place to mask this. If you are a rude individual that would prefer not to listen to your date, the sanctuary is a great place for you.  If your mind wanders a lot and you struggle paying attention to women, the sanctuary is a great place for you.

Reason 4: Free Food
Some churches serve food after the service.  Stay a little while longer and eat for free.  And you don't even have to tip.

Reason 5: Meet Other Hoes
Church is a meeting ground.  You can go to church with someone and still meet other women. It's the only place where the bringing sand to the beach theory doesn't exist; other than a swingers party of course.  Think about it.... Imagine bringing your lady friend to a restaurant or a bar.  I'm sure you know the scene.  Now just think about the face that your lady makes when you hug a female you know or speak to someone you don't.  Need I say more about that?  But in church, meeting new women is not frowned upon, it's only networking within the church.  Warm hugs. Kisses on the cheek.  Holding hands. Face to face. Eye to eye.  And you only knew each other 2 minutes.  On top of all that, these hoes, once they retired from WHOREDOM, go searching for a church man to save them from the asshole they have faced in the past.  Now you're shooting fish in a barrel.


@AlexanderDemand